An actual conversation I actually had

“Hey, how are you?”
“I’m doing well. How are you?”
“pretty awesome! Are you ready for a dance?”
“I have to be careful, I don’t like to get dances from lesbians.”
“…”
“I think that the energy that happens during a lap dance is really amazing and special, between a man and a woman. It’s really special, and something that can only happen between a man and a woman. And if a woman is a lesbian, and she’s in that dance you know, and she’s dancing and thinking about women and he’s feeling really special, she’s exploiting him.”
I mostly think about how tired my thighs are getting or how hungry I am or how funny that guy my friend is giving a dance to across from us is acting, all air humping, but ok. “i’m only gay for pay!” I assured him brightly. “sometimes I just make out with my friend onstage for money. So we’re good!”
“I don’t like that either. I just don’t understand why people want to see that.”
“so… Do you want a dance?”
“no.”

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