the ultimate best

working with friends is the best and the ultimate best is if you both get dances at the same time and can sit within each other’s eye line.

ok so b and I were giving dances opposite each other at the end of the night, for the second time. The first time I was dancing for an annoying overly earnest little hippie man who was actually totally harmless, I was just bored and annoyed in general and grimacing and b’s customer caught me making faces at her, and then her strangling herself at me, and was totally good humoured about it.

The second time I was dancing for another massage guy—ok when it’s legit it’s amazing; yesI will let you give me a massage for 40$ for three minutes—although actually after the new and increased cut which they take it comes out to be like 30$, 70 from every hundred, and 175 from every 250, ballz old sport but anyway—yes you can pay me to sit there while you massage me; I’m like a tense person ok. Plus it means they’ll probably want to be massaged too and that can go on indefinitely like my best customers just sit there for increasing amounts of time while I zone out and work on their knots and get paid better than any massage therapist I know dreams of. It’s good to have big ol man hands.

anyway this was another German boob swiper. Have I told you that, Fredi aside, Germans and north europeans are my absolute least favourite customers? especially when they have wire-rimmed glasses. could you live down to my mental stereotype any harder. He wanted to massage my shoulders and it was not relaxing and also was mildly painful but I was too tired to make conversation so I just sat and faced B and made faces at her while she tried not to alert her customer to the fact that she was shaking with silent laughter. This was made even better by one of the moaners (god I hate moaning as a tactic so much, it’s even worse than allowing touching or extras because it’s such a false promise, it’s all lies, and it’s so distracting and impossible to protect their tender impressionable man brains from!) who was wearing a noisy skirt and just making the biggest racket.

It’s just so wonderful that at these improbable and improbably terrible moments of my life I have friends right across from me to share them with and just be like

can u blieve this

no god this is awful

yeah.

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