Ok, sex work exists because men are willing to pay for sex and sexxii services. If they weren’t, there wouldn’t be a sex industry. I mean sure, you might have the odd escort here or there, but in general women don’t have the disposable income for it. I’m not sure when anyone claimed otherwise.
And because your moral and ethical system sets more of a value on sex-as-intimate-and-integral-to-self than on food service doesn’t mean that all women share your views, and it doesn’t make either view wrong.
But we do live in a world where ideals need to coexist with life, and I’m not sure where you get off saying that someone who decides to work fifteen hours a week because night childcare is cheaper and easier to come by, and it frees up her days and gives her money for food and rent—where you get off saying that this person is a clueless tool of the patriarchy. Compromise is inevitable, unless you have a lot of money, and if you do, did it come from a morally unimpeachable source?
Do you think you and your friends are the only people who know about classism and feminism? Activism is great but to focus on it exclusively is a surefire way to burnout, and more importantly, people have concrete and immediate needs. No, sex workers don’t have more agency than waitresses, but we do often have more money and free time, which translates into a kind of economic power that can compensate for being marginalized and endangered. And if you think that sex workers don’t consider these things… you’re wrong.
Not all sex workers are as privileged as I am, many don’t like it (I don’t like it) but to write us all off as tools of the patriarchy is both shortsighted and unhelpful. Do you think sex workers don’t work to help each other and end sex trafficking? Does the fact that we sell sex mean that we have nothing of value to say—do you think sex workers don’t want to eliminate poverty and coercion and abuse? Are you really that shortsighted? Do you really live in a world where everything is so cut and dry, that selling sex makes us so stupid and useless that we have absolutely nothing of value to contribute to activism or even dialogue?