Bubbles once said that it was disingenuous of me to express surprise at how badly men behave in the strip club setting.
I keep returning to it in my mind bc it’s something I’ve been hearing for most of my life: what do you expect from men if you tattoo a girl with guns on your chest/dye your hair red/walk down the street in that dress
the point being, right, ultimately, that men behave badly everywhere.
& while logically I know this, on some level it never ceases to shock me: the things they do and say, the way that, taken all together, there’s just this collective laziness and lack of empathy or imaginative ability to see other people as as real as them.
For a while, until I became more profit driven, men would ask me about my tattoo and I would say that just because something is visible, doesn’t mean it needs to be commented on. They would, to a man, get hysterically defensive and say “but you’re visible in the world, what else do you expect?”
“You’re balding, in public, yet I have until now refrained from commenting on that.”
“Your pastel polo is visibly tacky, should I let you know?”
obviously this is not a profitable line of inquiry and I mostly let it go now, but they never took the point.
or even in a strip club setting, like, these are scantily clothed naked women who would never otherwise be near you, and you can’t muster up any semblance of respect or even marginal politeness? and even the ones who can, if I talk about it with them, it’s not for the right reasons. There’s this missing of the point—that I’m as human as they are. That sounds extreme maybe but it’s not. Like the bachelor who couldn’t even begin to wrap his brain around my question.