Dude idk I’m super anti-porn but I’m also living in a family of 6 around what my state and federal government define as the poverty line and if someone I didn’t want to have sex with offered me money to have sex with them, I would take the money and I would have sex with them. It doesn’t mean I’m okay with my financial situation (who would have guessed that women make up the majority of people living in poverty, right!?) being taken advantage of by men who feel entitled to my body.
This is really the only part I want to address.
If someone offered you a bunch of money to clean their toilets/serve them food/watch their children, would you also use this sentence construction?
I’m not saying men don’t feel entitled to women’s bodies—they do. and it’s exhausting at best and hateful and soul destroying at worst—but the sex industry is not the only place this happens, it’s only the place where this is most highlighted and where women have the potential to profit from it.
Like I am a sex worker and I have a critique of my industry that is a lot more complicated than most people on either side will allow for and it drives me crazy.
And I like that you focus on the main point, which is that it’s about money. It is. It’s my job. I do it for money: I have weighed my circumstances and the market and this is worth it to me.
But to act like your financial situation is being taken advantage of by dint of it being sex/sexualized services is just to place more emphasis on sex as intimacy than it may necessarily warrant and depriving you of the agency to say no. Plenty of impoverished women do say no to sex work. Homeless women as well. I have addict friends who do not have sex for drugs—and some who do. Choice (god that word) can still be exercised even under duress. And no, nothing happens in a vacuum, it’s still a bullshit capitalist patriarchal situation, but please allow us a little more nuance than this.
And you know, yes sometimes we acquiesce to things we aren’t comfortable with for money. Sex workers are not alone in this. Like does that janitor really want to clean your fucking toilet? Probably not.Will she do it because she needs money? Yes. Are you taking advantage of her? Idk, how much are you paying her.
Did I really want to be changing diapers? Nope. Did I do it for money? Yes. Did I feel taken advantage of? Hell yes (why doesn’t anyone want to go to bat for the underpaid nannies or the trafficked domestic workers, I will never stop asking. Oh right, it’s because we place a value on sex that we don’t on physical or other emotional labour). Did it somehow extinguish my capacity for genuine intimacy and emotion to be expending all this attention and faux affection on children I was unrelated to? Not really.