this is how I look when customers tell me “I get free lap dances at home.”

Kacey Rohl being adorable and channeling every unimpressed stripper ever

At brunch w Mari we were (surprise!  for once not talking about how the bouncers have so much in common w the guards on OitNB or that line) talking about how I crack my gum because GUM CRACKING IS ATTRACTIVE and it is part of an aesthetic I have admired since I was 9 and all the tough hot older girls w darker lipliner than lips and eyeliner and big fringed bangs did it and I practised until i could do it really loud too, leading to a chapter in the exciting graphic novel memoir of my life called “Gum Cracking: an homage”

I got distracted

Oh yeah Adrienne told me she despises gum cracking and I told Mari this with shock, shockand she was like

“Gum cracking is a way of life!  It’s a form of self-expression! When guys are being terrible I even chew my gum at them in exasperation.”

there you have it ppl.  Gum cracking: homage and valid form of self-expression.

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