A bachelor fell in love with me last night while I was waitressing. If I had known last night I would have strong armed him into getting dances then because waitresses get to charge more for their dances and thus keep more. Slightly more. Verrry slightly more but enough that it’s less of an insult.
However, I did not know, so better late than never.
He was very quiet and mild and not at all terrible—everyone I danced for tonight was like that, in fact, a welcome change of pace from lately and esp from the rest of the crowd tonight who were dreadful. But he did keep quietly begging me to brush my nipple against his lips. Do I look stupid? I leaned in and poked him in his eye with my nipple instead and then about died laughing.
He made an actual emoticon sad face. 😦
“ok ok ok ok ok. Close your eyes.”
He closed them. I ran the edge of my pinky along his bottom lip. ”How was that?”
“That was your finger. :(“
I used to nanny for the best 8 yr old boy in the world, who was capable of saying shut up with the most amazing and amusing mixture of scorn, condescension, delight in saying shut up when he knew he wasn’t supposed to, and pleasurable fear about saying shut up when he wasn’t sposed to. It was awesome and always made me laugh because at heart I’m just a bad babysitter. I channeled Sam. “Shut up!”
The guy gaped at me and started laughing.
As pleased as Sam by this reaction I leaned over and gave him a hug. “You’re my favourite!”
“You say that to all the men.”
“No, because they aren’t my favourite.”
“You’re a doll. A mean doll. But a doll.”
“That’s my favourite compliment ever!’
After Manny—his name was Manny and I learned from the Larry incident, which I would link to except I post too much and I can’t find it but basically Aubree used to call her cold sores Larry and I blurted that out after meeting a customer named Larry which was awkward but DID NOT STOP HIM FROM GETTING DANCES!! and now I have better self control and maybe the celexa is working because I did not dissolve into sobs on him—left it was after 2 and I really wanted to leave with a respectable amount so I forced myself to make the rounds and yep, everyone was still horrible.
A man grabbed me and took me over to his friend, a girl, because it was her birthday. He wanted me to dance for her. I thought he meant an actual dance and went willingly but when we arrived he just stuck a two dollar bill in her cleavage and called it quits.
“Oh, ha ha, dances are $40,” I said with all the restraint I could muster, backed away, left the two because… because fuck you. She reached out and grabbed my wrist. They were all very grabby.
“Dance for it, bitch!”
I leaned in, patted her thigh, did not hit her. ”Girlie, that is two dollars. That’s not worth my time. Get some perspective.”
then I called it quits because that’s really enough for one night, rent be damned.
The car wasn’t due back until 3 and I left kind of early, so I took advantage of the extra time with new rental car. Ugh new cars are so good at speeding and their sound systems are amazing. I went over the I5 and the Fremont bridge at top speed with Florence and the Machine as loud as quality held. Portland fall nights are so foggy and the Fremont in particular is shrouded in fog after like midnight, and the freeways are empty, so it’s basically the best thing in the entire world, breathless and slightly frightening ever since getting hit by the truck. Pleasurably terrifying. I just want to go so fast I never have to think again. I want a new car. &c.