shots shots shots shots

I did pretty okay tonight, but it was nervewracking.  The day manager gave me a lecture as she left that too many bartenders pour too long and she made me repeat after her, “1 2 3, quick like that!”

then every other motherfucker in the place (staff, not customers, as if I listen to them!) was like “your shots are too short” and made me practise until they were longer so lbr I could be in trouble either way.  I could even be in trouble for both!  Like, remember how I got called scheduled to waitress Monday when I thought I was dancing?  I was still scheduled to dance!  So they’re hitting me up for a flake fee even though I wasn’t there because I was at the other club. And yeah, technically I was going to flake, but it’s the principle of the thing!

Which is exactly what a customer bitched at me during a lap dance tonight*.

“I can’t believe dances are 40 and you only got 21 of that.  Like I want to skip the middle man, I could give you less and you could still keep more, I could go anywhere else and not have a middle man.”

“Ok that’s simply not true.  In Vegas you pay the VIP hosts also.”

“No you don’t. I don’t know where you worked, but where I went I negotiated what I wanted.”

tbh my work ethic was low in Vegas from taking care of my sick friend and I don’t really remember how it worked, but I’m 85% sure my customers paid the floor host before we could go into the VIP areas because I remember the annoying wait while the floor host shot the shit and I remember funny money and the whole fucking POINT of funny money is to create a middle man so the club can take a cut in yet another way.  Ask me about funny money sometime when I’m less tired.  Better yet I’ll post my funny money selfie.  (hidden for length; customers, deserved tantrums, overly invested people with no lives or ethics, grumps)

But it’s also yet again the principle of the thing, like he’s insinuating he got dancers to do more for less or something and this annoyed me so bad that I told him we’re done and I couldn’t put up with him a moment longer even for 21 $ and gave him his money back.  The song hadn’t started yet so I figured we were good but the annoying bouncer (the overly invested in minutiae one–oh wait that’s all of them–who hit me up for the flake fee) said “absolutely no returns” and the guy stood there making shocked fish faces and I suddenly wanted the money back, I just wanted some compensation for having to deal with them both so I abruptly turned around, grabbed the money out of his hand and said “We’re doing this.”

He apologized when we sat back down, after I sat down as hard as I could in his lap for revenge.

“It’s just the principle of the thing like why CAN’T I pay you, why do they get the money?”

“Ok.  To be fair, I think about this a lot and I WISH that I could charge you 30 somehow and give you a dance elsewhere and it would be cheaper for you and I would still get more but there’s no space for that here, it’s just not a possibility, so instead of like, liberating me like you seem to think you’re doing, you’re just trying to haggle and I’m not going down and it’s disrespectful of my time.  Got it?”

“Yeah, ok. Sorry.”

“Also you have to tell [the bouncer] that you’re sorry, it was all your fault, and we’re getting along great.”

the song ended and he was true to his word.

“I was a little bitch!” he announced to the bouncer. “I was being annoying and I deserved it and she was very patient with me.”

bases covered. so back to my flake fee.  yeah I was going to flake anyway but it’s the principle of the thing!  You can’t charge me for not being there when technically the reason I wasn’t there was that I was where the boss told me to be!  fine him!

The bouncer insisted that it was my fault for double booking myself.

“I filled out the waitressing schedule in SEPTEMBER!” I railed at him.  “Not only that I was in motherfucking NEW YORK last week!“

he laughed indulgently at me like an annoying annoyance.


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