Anyway the money I ripped up last night was from this guy whose ass I slapped on my way out.  I left early because the whole thing seemed tiresome and I remembered I had mushroom risotto cakes and so much tv to catch up on and in my joy I just slapped the ass of a random man at the atm, nbd, it happens all the time.  It’s like petty vengeance on our part although, like everything we do, it has invisible strings with the corollary that like, men can’t see power differentials!  So if you slap a guys ass or pinch his nipples, they don’t understand that you’re each operating from different positions and situations, they just think that if you can do it they should be able to also.

Most egregious example of this:

“Why do youget to touch your boobs when I can’t?”

“Uhh, because they’re mine?”

but also in general.  Everything.

So I kept walking, giddy and gleeful to be done for the night with an acceptable amount of cash (thanks gas man! it was a miserable half hour but it paid off) and I was waiting for a bouncer to walk me to my car when the guy I slapped came up to me.

“You just spanked me!”


“Wellllll, do you want to go somewhere private?”

I’m like in my normal clothes, I mean I posted a picture.  I’m in sweatpants and a flannel and a scarf and my brooding olivia dunham winter peacoat, like i look bulky as fuck, even bitchier than bulky, and completely uninterested.

“Um, no.”

“Fine!” He walked away, turned back, grabbed a handful of scarf/wool/button/boob, and then walked away again.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I grabbed the useless-as-always bouncer. “He just grabbed my boob!”  I mean it was mostly scarf but it’s seriously the principle of the thing, like absolutely not no. so no!  ” Kick him out!”

“You should give her some money,” the bouncer advised.

he gave me two dollars.

I ripped it up.

“Why did you do that?” the bouncer was scandalized, the guy just watched with his mouth open.  come on, it was only two dollars.

“It is meaningless!” I said, trying for grandeur and ending up with incoherence.  I kept ripping and stalked out and made it rain little confetti bits of dollar over my head and felt expectedly unsatisfied about all of it.


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