Do you know what’s a hundred times worse than male strip club customers? The bitchy, entitled, & insecure women they bring in here with them.
The girl next to me at the hair salon is talking about how she knows a lot of strippers and they all hate themselves and it must be even worse other places because at least strip clubs are classy here which like, lol, shut up Jon snow. What I need is more clueless rich white women ruining my day after they made my night unbearable.
She just said something about a “dancing horse, haha it sounds like whores.”
The first customer I sat with had made friends with the two women next to him.
“They’re nasty,” he told me.
“Well you know they come here often so they rate the girls as they dance and tell me who does what.”
That’s really great.
Three hours later, long after he left, they’re still here and haven’t tipped anyone.
There’s a man who’s been drinking water this whole time and told me cheerfully, “you’ll have better luck with anyone else, you’re pretty.” Patted my bum.
Four guys here relaxing after work, two hours now. They’re just here relaxing, thanks, they don’t want company and they don’t want to sit at the rack and they deeply resent the implication that a sports bar might be a better place for them.
The bar back is in here on his off day.
Six youngish women and two gay guys. Four dollars hit the stage in two hours, smiles and thumbs up when I asked if they knew we only make tips.
As I sat down to type this I just remembered the last time I got in a fight with a wife and I guess I should take notes before I forget but anyway this just happened and I need to cool off.
I walked up to a guy at the ATM and said, “you look like you’re getting ready for a really great lap dance!”
I felt a tap on my shoulder from behind, turned around.
“He has a wife and kids,” this really grim guy said.
“He walked into the strip club,” I pointed out. Like, I do actually have thoughts about the ethics of dropping money on me when you have responsibilities but also if you walk into my job, I’m going to do my job and I’m going to make you pay. My presence is a luxury service, not a basic right. We can talk about financial responsibility when I’m not at work.
“His wife is right here!” The guy said indignantly.
“Great!” I waved at her. “Special discount for couples.”
She glared at me.
“They aren’t interested,” Grimmy said.
“All right, just remember if you aren’t here to spend money you should find someplace else to be.” Perky smile, walk away.
“They don’t want YOU” grimmy shot at my retreating back.
I miss the rich solo businessmen SO BAD
A bachelor fell in love with me last night while I was waitressing. If I had known last night I would have strong armed him into getting dances then because waitresses get to charge more for their dances and thus keep more. Slightly more. Verrry slightly more but enough that it’s less of an insult.
I was thinking about how I wish lesbians felt pressure to be a model minority in strip clubs
But I thought don’t be such a pessimist you’ve had a good lesbian customer I’m sure.
Then I got onstage and one of the women at the rack tried putting a dollar in my vagina and I thought no. It’s not pessimistic if its realism.
The best/worst part is that she really thought about it too. Like her hand hovered up and down my back before deciding the best place for that dollar was my junk.
Anyway. I told her if she wouldn’t do it to a random woman on the street, she doesn’t get to do it to us, and if she tried that again i would have her kicked out.
paying $40 for being 31 minutes late to work bc of said car accident (bouncers, what is your hysterical empathy-less investment in following rules that range from SORT OF logical to extreme nonsense? oh right, power tripping horrible men)
dodging our old realtor
a girl customer attacking two dancers on stage and dumping her drink on one of them (turns out she’s an exgf of dancer’s current bf)
finding out that she then stole a bouncer’s wallet and keys (!!!score one for her although she still sucks, and that was actually the nicest bouncer 😦 )
all this and more.