Tagged: the game may be rigged

Another dancer is thinking about legal stuff and asked me what the reaction has been like, and, yk, it’s been a mixed bag, with people privately wishing me well and being silent while other people are publicly hysterical conservatives about rocking the boat and “you agreed to work for illegal standards so you don’t have the right to sue! I make money and don’t mind being treated like shit so what’s YOUR problem? “Exploitation lol!”” But overall it’s totally fine. Like those people are embarrassing and ignorant and kind of their own worst enemies.

Then she told me about her boss and how her boss is like “you are all completely replaceable. There are TONS of girls dying to work here and fill your shifts, so always remember who has the power,” and how scared she is about backlash and like, LEGIT.

In a way I totally admire her boss taking that route, it’s pretty rare. You get a lot more of the “special snowflake” routine, managers making a big deal of their pets, giving them the best shifts and destroying solidarity from the inside thru making sure their favourites feel like their success is due to their innate specialness and not the fact that, due to genetics and luck, they happen to be the body and personality type the man doing the schedule likes best and then other dancers aspiring to that status and trying to get it through cozying up/loud proclamation of loyalty and lateral whorephobia: we’re the top tier, noblesse oblige, we don’t need rights, our manager loves us.

this works. I loved when Ilya called me his little tiger. (That was 11 years ago ok. I know better now. Less desperate for patriarchal/managerial approval).

This doesn’t even bother destroying competition from within, it straight up sets everyone at each other’s throats, everyone is competition. It’s brutally honest and brutally efficient.


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money changes everything

Money woes again. Taking Fridays and Saturdays off always sets me back, no matter how secure I think I am before I start. Then I took last night off for being sick and I feel much better but. Now I have to worry about money again and it’s so hard to make myself go to work when I’m terrified of not making enough.

I hate the way money worries tint everything, closing around you like a trap. Money is options and choices and freedom.

I chose a really good day to not shave and wear thick tall thigh highs: the girl with staph thinks she’s having another outbreak. She put a heart sticker over it, but still.

We’re all so crunched for money rn it’s hard to begrudge her presence even though I really really wish she would stay home; the stages only get washed once a day

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Ok two things:

Work is making my hands worse after steady use of hydrocortisone cream eased them up today. All the washing yk.

I’m getting assessed (taxes) for 14k for 2013. What does that mean? It’s lower than 16 so I can still get on ohp, but that’s without claiming write offs? How do I find someone good w sw to help me out?

I just lost it onstage. The dj didn’t even know Beyoncé had a new album, let alone have any of the songs off it, which led to a discussion of why Beyoncé is not appropriate strip club music, unlike pantera. So regan and I took a poll and in fact every customer picked pantera. And (I blame menstruation because in this fucking environment I get to) I started yelling that they were all hayseeds and I needed to move back to the east coast.

That, of course, got me some country ballad for me next song.

Then I got offstage and asked a dad type for a dance.
“I’m just here to hang out,” he said.
“You could be hanging out at a regular bar where there aren’t girls in underwear working for free.”
“I could.”
“But you won’t.” I patted his cheek. He cringed.

The next guy said “no thanks, I’m just an innocent bystander.”
“There are no innocent bystanders in an environment where women work for tips alone.”
He got fish mouthed at me.

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