Tagged: the man

i told my therapist that I wish manny would haunt me and she laughed at me    😡

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“Have you tried eating vegetables? How are you eating?”

the complete and total jackass who prescribes my antidepressants

Idk buddy have you tried eating my knuckle sandwich (sorry so dorky but really) have you tried yoga? Is your mom making you sad? WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR LICENSE FROM THE TOILET STORE BC YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MY EATING HABITS (I’m a snobby vegetarian foodie FTR) and you know LESS THAN NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING

I have to find a new one before I murder him. Someone remind me to cancel my next appointment, I was trying too hard not to scream to say anything so I just nodded and let him book it.

I walked in crying and he started off with that and then told me I should quit my job and do more yoga and try to make friends at yoga and eat more kale and I would feel better and I didn’t say anything for the rest of the appointment, I just waited it out.  Like he hit all my sore spots in less than five minutes—then he told me I should get a new job with health insurance so I can go to DBT bc that with kale and yoga will cure me.  THEN he told me about a patient who had BPD who was cutting herself and cheating on her husband and he thought she was hopeless but the above prescription worked for her so I should really try it.  Like my mind was blown apart it took the whole car ride and a sobbing dog walk for me to put the pieces of my head back together.  I’m like should I make a yelp profile just to give him a bad review?  Like what makes him think that ANY of that is ok?  or like because I get naked for a living I have something in common with someone with bpd who cheats on her husband—no judgment but what do we have in common that’s not even what’s wrong with me?

he just started talking and I was like I want this man to know less than nothing about me, it was like flipping a switch into customer mode.  I stopped crying and just started nodding and he wrote me another three month prescription for lexapro and I left. like do you know the un/underemployment rate here?  do you know how much you cost (a dollar would be too much btw) do you know anything about anything no you do not.  I’m so angry right now.

Emotional support dogs

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emotionally supporting me through unwanted extra day of drain bag. It smells and still feels like being stabbed in my armpit when I jostle it.

Luckily I have young leatherpants!Will Graham in Ella Enchanted for distraction. So cute!
Also this whole movie is like a special on consent.

Ted tights and drainage tubes

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Revision surgery went really well, I was even functional enough to walk myself to the car and give my friend directions back home!
The support patch he added needs drainage tho, which original surgery and the first revision surgery didn’t, and it’s so awkward! If I move wrong it feels like getting stabbed in my armpit 😦 it’s only for one day though, so that’s not so bad.
And I’m so much more alert than previous times!
& I have Lebanese leftovers, (including a ton of baba ghanouj and rice pudding! Yum!), Manny, Mavis, and s4 of arrested development. This will be over soon!

My friend who took me says as soon as it kicked in I started giggling and talking about how weird surgery and anaesthesia both are. Which is true! Anaesthesia is so weird. It’s weird to wake up missing two hours of your life with your body suddenly different.

Roadtrip

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This is what I’m doing with my two unwanted weekend nights off in a row[1]: road tripping to a hot spring with my dying dog (Mavis is staying with a friend so we can have some qt). I roadtrip in style: two large jars of horchata latte, sparkling juice, two veggie burritos, two boxes of cookies, and a bagel.

We’ll be back tomorrow night; there’s a dress I want[2] on top of ever growing vet bills, so I shouldn’t really take it easy, even if I’m not scheduled at my club. I’m going to try a new club, a juice bar. Dances aren’t as much there and I don’t think they do VIP chunks of time but they let you set your own schedule and come and go as you please within a given time frame, more Vegas style, and it could be good.
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1- another unwelcome reminder to not get too comfortable no matter how high my sales and the cut I pay to the club; I’m on the schedule only when, and for as long as, the owner wants me to be. Cool.

2- Kate Spade, and it’s exciting and dizzying to think I make enough to afford it, although schedule fluctuations are a reminder not to get used to it.