Tagged: whorephobia

swer stigma

Denial of Justice: Sex Workers Fight Against Discrimination in Aid for Rape Victims [UPDATE] | 


Magdalen laundries

Ireland and damaged belonging: From Magdalene Laundries to Cupcake Scrub

everyday whorephobia nbd

The girl next to me at the hair salon is talking about how she knows a lot of strippers and they all hate themselves and it must be even worse other places because at least strip clubs are classy here which like, lol, shut up Jon snow. What I need is more clueless rich white women ruining my day after they made my night unbearable.

She just said something about a “dancing horse, haha it sounds like whores.”


The first customer I sat with had made friends with the two women next to him.
“They’re nasty,” he told me.
“Well you know they come here often so they rate the girls as they dance and tell me who does what.”
That’s really great.
Three hours later, long after he left, they’re still here and haven’t tipped anyone.

There’s a man who’s been drinking water this whole time and told me cheerfully, “you’ll have better luck with anyone else, you’re pretty.” Patted my bum.

Four guys here relaxing after work, two hours now. They’re just here relaxing, thanks, they don’t want company and they don’t want to sit at the rack and they deeply resent the implication that a sports bar might be a better place for them.

The bar back is in here on his off day.

Six youngish women and two gay guys. Four dollars hit the stage in two hours, smiles and thumbs up when I asked if they knew we only make tips.

feminist failures

Gloria Steinem defines prostitution thus:

The truth seems to be that the invasion of the human body by another person – whether empowered by money or violence or authority — is de-humanising in itself. Yes, there are many other jobs in which people are exploited, but prostitution is the only one that by definition crosses boundary of our skin and invades our most central sense of self.

Later she speaks of prostitution as “body invasion.” This is true of rape, rape is a body invasion, it’s profoundly violating.  Not all sex work is rape. I know people get caught up in the notion of privileged white escorts in the states and “not all sex workers are like that” and like duh. I absolutely agree.

However, when you have WOC in other countries also saying the same thing, women who’ve created unions to advocate for themselves—and for victims of trafficking because they know the difference between sex work and trafficking and they are against trafficking—to spread health information and safety tips, and when western feminists ignore them and paint them as pimps and traffickers themselves, there’s something wrong.  It becomes hard to avoid the conclusion that white western feminists are more focused on saving the poor woc from themselves—whether they want to be saved or not! whether this saving is actually saving or just removing harm reduction skills and access to health care and basic things like condoms—than on actually listening to what they say they need and helping them.

I find this language of all prostitution-as-violation to be disingenuous and deliberately unhelpful.  By defining all prostitution as rape they erase actual victims of rape as well as victims of trafficking.

I hate how the conversation has been hijacked by the trafficking framework, as if the sex industry has become the only place where men rape, abuse, and exploit women and children.  As if all those things will stop once sex work has been made illegal.

As if they couldn’t be just as well (or better!) addressed by a concerted effort to make rape and assault illegal so that when these things happened anywhere, including within the sex industry, there would be legal protections for victims, and repercussions and punishment for the abusers.  Like why is that so unrealistic? So a woman could be like “This john raped me/my boyfriend is abusive and is basically a pimp and he takes my money” or “I was raped on set” because the problem, RIGHT? is rape and assault?  The two go hand in hand, like if as much energy was poured into ending rape culture as into ending trafficking, which after all isn’t it just an extension of rape culture? Women could seek redress for sexual exploitation without being criminalized for their work.

how do people expect to help sex workers if they won’t acknowledge that the problems in the sex industry didn’t begin with it, aren’t confined within its borders, and would continue if it was gone.

men rape, abuse, and murder women who aren’t sex workers.  family members rape and abuse other family members.

in the feminist framework seems like the very fact of sex/sexualized services for money is the real assault.  Trying to get politicians and legislators to focus on taking rape and sexual abuse seriously isn’t a realistic goal!  A better goal is just making sex work illegal.  And that suits politicians just fine, it leaves the actual issue of rape culture untouched.

I don’t understand how focusing on sex work as labour—how seeing that there is actually a difference between sex work (which is labour and sex workers deserve workers rights and human rights) and rape and exploitation. A woman who is being raped is being raped. That’s not sex work.  Sex workers don’t want to protect people who are profiting off rape. Like am I saying it clear enough?  You don’t need to criminalize sex work to punish people who rape women and or profit from the rape of women/children.

If sex work was treated as work we could focus on the people exploiting us and stop it.  If rape were taken seriously anyone who was assaulted could seek redress, whether they were a sex worker or a teenager running away from home. Those two goals aren’t incompatible and they seem a hell of a lot more reasonable and functional to me than banning sex work and punishing anyone who comes near the industry.

What India’s sex workers want

Other organizations have sought to alter or restrict programs dealing with sex worker communities: for example, an established NGO might cut resources for an affiliated sex worker health project. Or a small grassroots grantee might refrain from publicizing sex worker condom-distribution programs. Overall, researchers found, groups felt pressured to limit programs that might be viewed as supportive of sex work, even as sex workers continued to suffer some of the worst effects of the epidemic.

While the court ruling has spared U.S.-based groups from these restrictions, non-U.S. grassroots groups like SANGRAM are still subject to PEPFAR’s moralistic anti-prostitution dictates. Across the Global South, the politics of PEPFAR ironically feeds into the same structural barriers thatput sex workers at risk of AIDS and other social threats. By marginalizing an “underground” labor force, the humanitarian aid system perpetuates the social disenfranchisement of sex worker communities, exposing them not only to disease risks, but also a culture of discrimination and oppression. 

What India’s Sex Workers Want: Power, Not Rescue

I watch too much tv

Last week’s Sleepy Hollow, as Ichabod is called in to talk Middle English to the veiny little boy from Roanoke (& like how annoying was that plotline anyway, idk it just bugged me like there is no mystery, the colonists joined the locals, that’s it?) and like someone is all ‘blahblah the patient” and Sexibod was like “He has a name” and I started laughing wildly because it was so, so what Elif Batuman was talking about, ahem, sorry this is gonna get long:

The premium on conciseness and concreteness made proper names a great value—so they came flying at you as if out of a tennis ball machine: Julia, Juliet, Viola, Violet, Rusty, Lefty, Carl, Carla, Carlton, Mamie, Sharee, Sharon, Rose of Sharon (a Native American), Hassan. [Batuman has a footnote here worth transcribing also, since I’m giving in to my tangential impulses: The Best American anthologies of 2004 and 2005 each included one short story involving the Islamic world, each with a character called Hassan.] Each name betrayed a secret calculation, a weighing of plausibility against precision: on the one hand, John Briggs and John Hillman… on the other, Sybil Mildred Clemm Legrand Pascal, who invites the reader to call her Miss Sibby. On the one hand, the cat called King Spanky;  on the other, the cat called Cat. In either case, the result somehow seemed false, contrived—unlike Tolstoy’s double Alexeis, and unlike Chekhov’s characters, many of whom didn’t have names at all.  In “Lady with a Lapdog,” Gurov’s wife, Anna’s husband, Gurov’s crony at the club, even the lapdog, are all nameless. No contemporary American short-story writer would have had the stamina not to name that dog. They were too caught up trying to bootstrap from a proper name to a meaningful individual essence—like the “compassionate” TV doctor who informs her colleagues: “She has a name.” Batuman, 20

ok sorry sorry sorry I just love Elif.

moment 637575333:


I love this show so much and like why!  Why are you people doing this!

This episode started with Sherlock getting a call from a dominatrix, who greeted Sherlock andthe police in her sexy dom suit; apparently she navigates through the world in latex to save the bother of changing at clients houses or hotels.  Nevermind the bother of navigating the world in latex and a corset. 

Additionally, the whole dominatrix detail was so strained!  Who lets themselves in to a new clients house when no one answers the door? Why was it necessary to call a dominatrix to discover the body, why wasn’t the effort of getting a very large man into a latex suit not humiliation enough? What about the dominatrix and the waste of her time for free? not to mention no one wants to deal with the police you tremendous jerk, even if her career is legal.  Sherlock and Watson both made self-congratulatory/snide little comments that are escaping me at the present moment, nbd really but the equivalent of a vicious little hangnail that just won’t go away.

What did go away was the dominatrix once she’d served her purpose, to re-establish Sherlock’s edgy sexxii cred.